Just remember miley cyrus is an icon to young children.
hide yo kids.
I can’t wait to open a strip club called ‘TITTY CITY.’
This “Ermahgerd” trend got as old as YOLO just as fast.
In case someone with a severe and permanent brain injury decides to marry me, I just wanna have a tacos and beers wedding. No sappy shit.
I get bummed out the Kardashians took both my baby names until I remember I CAN NAME MY KID CHEESEBURGER IF I WANT THIS IS AMERICA.
if you think you use the word peasants more than me then you’re wrong
if you think using the word peasants is cool then you’re wrong
(via genericbrands)
I looked up the abortion hashtag last night for fun. You’re very judgey, 18 YEAR OLDS WITH TWO KIDS.
If you wake up on the 1st try without the snooze button, I bet you drive a Prius and pma and your family horseback rides…
If someone intimidates you or makes you nervous, just remember they make horrifying smells/sounds on a toilet. Now go get ‘em tiger.
Why do guys with tap out shirts and gel’d hair always hit on me
STAHPPP IT RONNN.
All of the people on world’s dumbest criminals are either on meth or stuck in an acid trip.
Let me just run my truck into a convenience store that’s closed to get some condoms. Can you imagine what would of happened if the girl he planned on having sex with was like “sorry, i have a headache.” “DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH TO GET THESE CONDOMS?!”
He’s more afraid of Gonorrhea than jail time.
IF YOU’RE PASSED THE AGE OF 13 AND LISTEN TO ASKING ALEXANDRIA, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE TO KEEP YOU IN SUCH A SHIT HOLE MUSIC SELECTION.
GERMANY IS TO SWEDEN AS USA IS TO BRAZIL.
I learned something about geography today, I am bad at geography.
Mitt Romney throws water balloons filled with oil at baby ducklings
Pure Sanitiy.
